I have found the limit of the internet

OK, so. This morning I'm walking with my girlfriend to the A train when she suddenly busts out singing this maybe late '80s, maybe early 90s, maybe mid '90s dance song that goes something like this: "...Tearing up my heart / Tell me I'm the only one / Tell me is this love / Or just a game." I know this song, I remember the melody well, I immediately join her in singing those lyrics, which I'm about 95% sure are correct. When we stop singing it, I ask her the name of the song and the performer. She says, "You know, the one that goes," and she starts humming and then singing the verse of "Together Forever" by Rick Astley, which I tell her is impossible because I remember a woman singing that song and Rick Astley is nothing if not a man. When I get back to my apartment I say to my roommate, "Oh, do you remember that song, um, I think it goes..." and I start humming and then singing what I'm certain is the song in question but which I soon realize is the verse to Cece Peniston's "Finally" -- glorious in its own right, no doubt, but definitely not the song in question. I just spent the past 15 minutes googling various combinations of the lyrics above... TO NO AVAIL. I have found the limit of the internet. It is apparently this song. I did learn this, though: asking someone "tell me is this love or just a game?" is cliche as hell. Do you have any idea how many times singers have implored absent lovers with this line? I found out. Too many times.

So I turn to you, Human Gold readers; you, with your accumulated knowledge of things strange and wonderful; you, the archivists of songs you enjoyed in those tender years circa 1987-1995. Help me save this song from the dustbins!

Sparks Chose Me

Right. So on Friday night I stopped at the store by my house on my way to Band Practice to get a Sparks. Fine, 2 Sparks, whatever. The store seemed really busy, and there were a bunch of girls standing around wearing matching orange tank tops and I realized they were like, a SPARKS PROMOTIONAL TEAM. There was Sparks music playing -- this really awesome "hard rock" song with some dude shouting the words "caffeine.....taurine.....ALCOHOL!!!!!!" over and over again. Just fucking blowing my mind. After I purchased my Sparks they offered me either a Sparks t-shirt (so ugly) or a giant plastic Sparks beaker. Obviously I chose the latter, to feel like a fucking Sparks scientist, and maybe this is how I will create my new, more potent Sparks. Yes? I actually told the Sparks Promotional Team about my idea for a Sparks with more caffeine & taurine and they laughed at me, if you can believe that. I even left out the part about calling it "Sparks Deep Reality" and packaging it in an iridescent or clear can.