Sparks Chose Me

Right. So on Friday night I stopped at the store by my house on my way to Band Practice to get a Sparks. Fine, 2 Sparks, whatever. The store seemed really busy, and there were a bunch of girls standing around wearing matching orange tank tops and I realized they were like, a SPARKS PROMOTIONAL TEAM. There was Sparks music playing -- this really awesome "hard rock" song with some dude shouting the words "caffeine.....taurine.....ALCOHOL!!!!!!" over and over again. Just fucking blowing my mind. After I purchased my Sparks they offered me either a Sparks t-shirt (so ugly) or a giant plastic Sparks beaker. Obviously I chose the latter, to feel like a fucking Sparks scientist, and maybe this is how I will create my new, more potent Sparks. Yes? I actually told the Sparks Promotional Team about my idea for a Sparks with more caffeine & taurine and they laughed at me, if you can believe that. I even left out the part about calling it "Sparks Deep Reality" and packaging it in an iridescent or clear can.